Saturday, July 4, 2015

Stupidus Maximus

Remember the essay we used to have in school, the one titled - "The day when everything goes wrong", well... 4th July 2015 was my very own (latest!) version of it - albeit a funny one :-|
There has been tons of "stupidus maximus" stuff I am responsible for, but this time, the urge to rant gets the better of me - and I've pestered enough family and friends already - so I figure its time to turn to my best-est friend who never ever judges - and always has the patience to hear me out.

1. You book a bus ticket for Manya and Aai - usually you do two separate transactions - for each of their tickets - because their plans are always dynamic and subject to change multiple times. But this time, you decide to be extra smart - you see there is just a single row of side-by-side seats left - and if you book your Aai's ticket first, the seat will be marked as a Ladies's seat and you won't be able to book for your brother (You remember this as a hard learnt lesson :P).
Well, you could have worked out the problem still and done two separate transactions. But then along with extra smart, you also decide to be extra lazy.
And you book their tickets via a single transaction - meaning a single PNR.
Their plans change (as expected!) - and now Aai is travelling alone.
She says matter of factly, "Yeah, just go ahead and cancel his ticket. No Big deal."
And you roll your eyes (thank goodness for voice only calls :P)
"Fine, I'll do the cancellations", you mumble.
What surprise - it seems goibibo cannot do partial cancellations.
Hah! You give the poor hapless guy @goibibo support desk a piece of your mind. (And feel guilty like hell later) :-| You also call up Neeta travels - the girl on phone tells you the same thing.
Cancel both tickets and book a single one anew - she says.
Well, yeah.
Actually, no - too many goof-ups happening all around lately - and you can't afford to risk Aai ending up without a reservation :-|
Fine. Cost of laziness and ignorance about the stupid partial cancellation rules = 500/-
 #Rant1

2. You ping GM on a Friday evening and ask if she wants to watch Inside Out. GM has already seen the movie. GM is a super cool dudette. She says she doesn't mind watching it again.
You are excited! Book tickets for two. Amanora. 7.50 PM. Inside Out (3D). All good. Booked.
The date says Saturday, 4th July.
Ouch.
You rebook for Friday.
You flood your friends' inboxes and whatsapp chats telling them what a wonderful movie it is, and they should totally buy out your tickets.
and Wait.
And Sigh.
And wait some more.
And mail some more folks. Crack some PJs about how "10 ka 20" is your new part time job.
And sigh.
And wait some more.
Cost of extra stupidity + waiting + all the sighing = 460/-
 #Rant2

3. You see an awesome auto charge paytm feature. You've had an account since 3 years; and you use it so very often.
This time you try to login, you see a double login secure feature at play. You are sent a OTP via SMS (to your old, now invalid Bangalore number)
And you smile. and try not to scream out loud.
This is just not your day babes.
 #Rant3

4. You see a bag of veggies near the fridge as you enter the flat on Friday night.
M asks if you have ordered them - you say no - M and you assume A must have ordered. Go to sleep. Saturday morning your cook says "Didi, itne saare mushroom kyu leke aye?"
You shrug, and say A ne laye hai. And your cook being the super-enthu experimentalist - hurries off to make Mushroom Masala. Well, you're not really fond of Mushrooms - but fine - you adopt your "no fuss" food policy and have your lunch.
A walks in, and says she's allergic to Mushrooms.
M and you look at each other.
A teeny tiny voice at the back of your head says something is wrong... :P
You ask the voice in your head to shut up.
A orders Paneer.
Ding Dong - the veggie delivery guy at the door says - "Didi, wo kal wala sabzi ka bag return karna - wo aapke flat ka nahi tha - galati se deliver ho gaya, upar wale flat ne maanga hai unka samaan..."
You and M burst into peals of laughter, and end up paying for the Mushrooms.
Cost of not communicating b/w roomies = 1 kadhai bharke Mushroom Masala + 2 unopened bags of Mushroom no one is keen on eating :P
(Not to mention wreaking havoc to someone somewhere's plans to actually cook those Mushrooms!) ;-)
#Rant4

PS: Well, some things make up for all the stupid things that the world hurls at you.
(You blame the world, although most of the Stupidus Maximus is your very own creation :P)
You are officially a Mavshi now. Your sister has just given you the best-est gift ever!!!
Yayyy!!! You are soooo gonna spoil this little bundle of joy :D
Hugs and Kisses dearest darling nephew!
Love you to the Moon (and back!) ~PuMa :)




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